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What is meditation, and how can a daily practice benefit you?

How does your creativity show up for you?

​Let’s talk about motivation. We all know what that is, right? According to dictionary.com, motivation (noun) is: “1. the act or an instance of motivating, or providing with a reason to act a certain way. 2. the state or condition of being motivated or having a strong reason to act or accomplish something.” Okay, so what does that mean to you? How do you feel about the word? And do you feel negative when you perceive yourself as not being motivated? I know I can fall into that trap more often than I care to admit. Just today I was feeling awful because I was procrastinating writing this post, feeling far less than motivated. Unsure of what I was going to say, or if it would make sense, I sat at my computer and went through old emails instead of allowing my motivation to carry me into my writing. But Jen, you say, here you are! Yes, here I am. But I could have bailed. In my own fear (see last month’s post) and worry, I almost made myself small. I procrastinated much of the morning. Well, if I can be all the way honest with you for a second, I spent much of the last month procrastinating. I made the commitment to write a monthly blog, yet it took 3 weeks for me to sit down and put pen to paper. Or fingers to keyboard. I made every excuse I could think of. I needed to do laundry. Vacuum. Dust. And I absolutely despise dusting! One of my wintered-over plants needed re-potting. Just one more chapter of my book. And it all stemmed from fear. Fear, not that I wouldn’t be good enough. Not this time. Fear that I might be great. That my blog will take off and become popular. That my name would get out there and people would actually WANT to work with me. I promise you, I am just like you. But, again, here I am. It may have taken 3 weeks to sit down, but I am proud I did. It just took my realizing how I was using all those things as distractions to keep me from becoming more authentically myself. When I finally sat down and reminded myself WHY I am doing this, that’s when the words started to flow. That’s when I really saw consciously just how my motivation shows up. You see, motivation isn’t all about getting up at 5 AM and running on overdrive all day in the pursuit of accomplishment. Not that there is anything wrong with that. As it is I am up at 7 just about every day, so no judgments here. It’s just that, I mean, motivation, in reality, can look as simple as taking baby steps every single day, then looking back and seeing how they all added up. Sometimes it looks like just showing up and remembering your WHY for whatever it is that you are doing. Sometimes it even looks like taking a nap. That nap may be motivated by a deep soulful need to rest. To me, motivation is less about the actions you take, but the intentions behind them. My motivation for writing this blog post is to honor my commitment to myself and my fledgling business. To do something I have loved my whole life and never really given a chance – writing. To have a chance to connect with all of you and maybe, just maybe, make some connections, help some people, and shine my light. To show my children anything is possible. That solid, dedicated work really does pay off. That you can be and do anything you can dream of. That’s my motivation. And these baby steps I’m taking every day? The small posts to social media, the sitting down to write even when my brain yells at me to do ANYTHING else, the small but priceless changes to my own mindset? Well, those baby steps sure are piling up. Looking back just 2 years ago, when I was just beginning my journey at SWIHA, and seeing just how far I’ve come… I can hardly recognize that girl. I was motivated to do more. What that more was, I didn’t know at the time, and it really didn’t matter. All that mattered was that something inside of me was pulling and pushing me to reach for more. To be more than I ever thought possible. To do things I had only wished and dreamed of in secret. All of that was motivation enough to get started on those baby steps. Two years later, I have a business started, one I am still unsure of its direction, but it’s mine nonetheless. I have graduated from SWIHA with several certificates in different modalities under my belt along with my Integrative Healing Arts Program degree. So...motivation. What does it look like to you? Can you look back and see how all your baby steps have carried you to where you are? And how more baby steps can carry you even farther? What motivates you? What is your why? Is it a better future for yourself and your family? A new car? A new home? Love? No WHY can be too big or too small to be an inspiring motivator for anyone. As long as the WHY is yours, it is perfect. So, let’s talk about motivation. I can’t wait to hear from you. To work with you. To coach you and be your cheerleader. To honor you and your why. I’ll be here when you’re ready.

Let’s talk about fear. Fear. It can literally save your life. It can also stop you from living life fully. You know what I mean, that ugly little monster that lives in your head and scares the crap out of you at the most inopportune times. Have you ever paid attention to when you feel fear the most? And I don’t mean in actual situations where it is a necessary feeling. I’m talking about those times when you may be standing on the precipice of something big – a new job, a new baby, a big move – something that can essentially change your life. It does love to rear it’s head when your are right on the precipice of change – evolution – shifting. That ugly little voice that tells you it’s safer right where you are. That to change, evolve, shift is to go into the dark unknown. To travel into the spooky woods at midnight with nary a flashlight for company. That voice that creates stories of fear, puts faces and names on them, and proceeds to assault our conscious mind with them so that you stay, well, safe. Small. Out of danger. “Don’t” “Stay” “Fear” That nasty little monster has oh so many faces too. It could be the bully from the second grade that you had totally forgotten about. It could be falling off your bike and scraping your knee as a kid. It could be any one of your past relationships, friends, situations, etc. There are endless faces fear takes on. Yet the one constant thread through all it’s faces is that they are all lies. Sneaky lies your fear monster tells you to keep you safe. Now, you can’t blame the mind, it’s only trying to keep you safe. And safe is relative to its maturity, which is that of a 5 year old child, approximately. Our mind, the subconscious, is a wonderfully complex thing, yet it’s maturity level is seriously to be desired. One of it’s jobs is to keep us safe, and when change arises, well, that seems pretty scary. Except – it can keep us from the very things that will change our lives for the best. From new ways of being and thinking and doing that will elevate us to heights even our wildest dreams can’t fathom. Now, a wise woman I know introduced me to this acronym for fear, and it is not only brilliant, but oh so true. False Evidence Appearing Real That nasty little monster in your head is just presenting you with false evidence, usually in the form of old memories and tired stories, and making it appear so very real. I mean, it’s your head, it knows best how to scare you. And this nasty little monster isn’t trying to be mean or malicious. It really does think it has your best interest at heart. After all, your mind is only doing what it’s supposed to – it’s trying to keep you safe. While that may have worked in the days of caves and fire pits and wild animals and the vast unknown, it rarely works in the 21st century. You see, that part that’s trying to keep you safe is really just bored. Gone are the days of our needing to be alerted to each and every sound, to the shadow on the rock, the unknown around the corner. Back in prehistoric days our mind really did keep us safe. Our fear monster then was really our best friend. But in this day and age, I really believe it has lost a large part of it’s job of keeping us out of real physical danger. Now in it’s own boredom and anxiety, it alerts us far too often. At times when we should be excited, I think our brain doesn’t really understand the difference between that excitement and the feeling of danger. Hell, if you look at them, they seem similar. Elevated heart rate, rapid breathing, some apprehension. Except fear is a really uncomfortable feeling. One none of us want to feel. Much less sit with, challenge, and change it into excitement. Because fear doesn’t feel exciting. It feels like your heart beating a thunderstorm in your chest. It feels like a thousand angry bees trapped in your belly. It sounds like a sea caught in a hurricane in your ears. It sounds like every mean, angry, degrading, shameful – you name it – thought you’ve ever had, all at once, so loud it’s all you can hear. Except one feels bad and one feels good. Yet when we are just running on auto, much like we all do every day, we don’t always interpret our feelings properly, and that’s where the fear monster lives and plays. When we aren’t fully aware of what we are feeling, good or bad, and when we aren’t aware of how they are being interpreted, a lot can get lost and distorted. What’s the term? Oh yeah, lost in translation. Lost in translation… Much like that ugly little monster throwing fear at you like ice water right in the face. You know, throwing all that false evidence appearing real right into your consciousness. It used to happen to me ALL the time. Shoot, it still does! I still have my moments of struggle. I still get bogged down and mentally crippled with fear. Sometimes I catch myself in the beginning throes of an attack, and have to talk myself through. The last couple of years especially. As I have been on my own journey, awakening to my true self, identifying and healing trauma and triggers, reframing massive thought patterns, challenging old behaviors and ways of behaving...my own personal little monster has really come out to play. So, how do I deal with my fear? Probably a little like most people. I get scared. Sometimes I freeze. Sometimes I feel anxious and panicky. Sometimes it stops me from doing that thing that my little monster is trying to stop me (incorrectly) from doing. I talk to myself. All the time. That is one of the biggest ways I am able to work through my fear and get to know that little monster. I will sit and speak to my mind as if it is a separate person. Sounds a little wonky, but I promise you it works. I never scold myself, but I do speak gently, calmly, and give myself some firm love as I challenge those fear-based thoughts that creep in. I have become my own best friend, and I recommend it to everyone. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve seemingly wasted stuck in fear. And that’s ok. I was probably just doing my best at the time just to survive. There is no shame in that, no guilt, and no regrets. Everything happens the way it’s meant, in the time it’s meant. I believe that. Wholeheartedly. But I’ve learned some great tools for transforming that fear monster into my friend. You see you can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away. You have to be brave and welcome those feeling with open arms. You have to sit with them, giving them space to be seen and heard and understood. Once you have identified whatever it is that is coming to the surface as fear, then you want to challenge it. Not aggressively or mean. But kindly, with love. And not just a little firmness. I like to compare it to tough love and parenting. Because in a sense you are parenting your own mind. So let me ask this? Have you ever stopped to witness how it shows up for you? Does it sneak attack you out of the blue? Is it that nagging voice that just won’t shut up? Is it sneaky and quite, where all of a sudden your heart is racing and you’re worried about what could happen? Do you feel shame over whatever it is your mind is telling you to fear? I know I am guilty of that. So that you just don’t want to tell anyone out of...wait for it...fear that they will laugh or make fun of you, or even worse, tell you your fear is real. It’s easier to keep it to yourself right? Wrong. To name it is to claim it. And if you claim it, you own it. Now it can no longer control you, you control it. Now you can sit with it, even when it sucks and is uncomfortable. You can begin to understand it, shed light on it. The dark is only scary until you turn on the light. And then you have to transform them. How do begin, you ask? How do you start to identify and challenge that sneaky little monster? Well there are a few questions I like to ask myself. How does this thought, feeling, fear behave? Is it useful? Is it truthful? Where is the evidence? While you’re doing that, remember to breathe. Deep and slow. It’s a fact that you can’t panic while controlling your breath. Remind yourself of your present. Your current reality. Look around and express gratitude for where you are now, where you’ve been, and give that back to the fear monster as evidence there is no need for fear right now. Show that little one the difference between being afraid and being curious. Being excited. Being hopeful. Sure, it’s perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about things, but that even feels different that fear. Start taking back your control over your feelings and your mind so that you can emote them correctly. Mind you, we are all human, and we will probably never conquer fear totally. And there are times where it’s appropriate to be afraid. You know the difference. But we can always begin to overcome our fears one small step at a time. Now I think it really is time to turn on the light. It’s time to take your fear and start making friends with it. Start challenging it. Start diving deeper into your SELF, finding your truth. Because I can promise you, the fear your mind is using to keep you safe isn’t the truth. Doing that will set you free. No, it won’t be easy. But what’s easy isn’t usually what’s right. Or what’s needed. Hell, if any of this were easy, everyone would be doing it! Now I no longer look at my fear monster as a bad thing, but as a piece of me that has my best interest and safety at heart. I remind myself to challenge my own thinking, to breathe when I feel trapped in a thought spiral, and to look – really look – at my surroundings and express my gratitude for my life and how far I’ve come. Life is about the journey, right. Once you reach the destination, well, that’s it. So enjoy and embrace your journey. Learning how to transform your fear into whatever feeling feels the best for you is all part of your journey. Why not start to enjoy it instead of succumbing to the fear monster? I want you to know you are not alone in this. It is so easy to feel isolated and alone when dealing with fear, but the truth is, we never are. Giving a voice to the fear is another way of transforming it. I know, I know, that’s scary too, that opening up and talking about it. But if you found this blog post, then I know for a fact that you’re no coward. You may feel alone though. Or maybe you don’t have someone to open up to. Whatever your reason, you are not alone. I can promise you that I am right here with you, on my own parallel journey. I am putting in the work, and I hope paving the way so it’s just a little easier for each of you. That actually scares me, but I know why, and it won’t stop me. ​So let’s talk about fear. I’m here. I’m ready. And I’ll be here whenever you are.